Child Personality Types

Child Personality Types The key for us as parents is to discover and cultivate the uniqueness of each of our children. Listen to this passage from Psalm 139 for the God’s personal touch in making each person special and different. 13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. These verses are incredible! As you read I know that you will have many thoughts running through your minds about your children. This is great! Take notes, jot down words or phrases that apply to your child. You have been already given many hints and signs about the way your child is to go. We have discussed many times Prov. 22:6-7, which says “Train a child in the way they should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Do you remember the idea here is that we should train them not in the way we think they should go, but the way God has designed for them to go, based on their unique bent. We must continue to observe them, study them, and learn about them. The more we know, the better equipped we are to parent them! Remember, we aren’t putting labels on them that will define who they are for ever. What we are doing however, is taking a step toward unfolding all they have been created to be. We have a few steps to work though. First we are going to look at our own personalities. Then we are going to look at the DISC personality type model. Finally we will take a look at our children’s personality types, and how to parent to them based on our personalities and theirs. Step 1: Pace and Priority How many of you have ever identified your personality type using the DISC model? Tonight we are going to identify your personality type. In a few moments you will need to skip to the post called PACE/PRIORITY QUIZ. Take the PACE quiz, answer the questions. As you answer them, think not about how you operate because you are a parent, instead think more deeply about how you like to operate and would choose to operate if you weren’t keeping up with the demands of parenting. Fast Paced – outgoing, initiating, takes risks, makes quick decisions, competing, assertive, broad focus, talks/tells Slow Paced – reflective, responding, avoids risks, thinks through decisions, cooperating, slower paced specific focus, listens/asks Take a look at this diagram. Some of you are fast-paced people and some of you are slow-paced people. One way is not better than the other, nor is one less than the other. Look back at your answers. Tally up the odd numbered questions you circled and the even numbered questions you circled. More circles for odd #s means you are face-paced, more circles for even #s means you are a slower-paced person. It is important to recognize this about yourself because it directly affects how you relate with your child! Now take the Priority Quiz Tally up your answers the same way as our previous quiz. If you circled more odds you are a task oriented person; more evens, you are a people-oriented person. Task-Oriented – independent, guarded in relationships, cool, controlling, calculating, time-conscious, tact-oriented, impatient People-Oriented – relational, relaxed, warm, supporting, feeling, flexible about time, opinion-oriented, easy going Now, let’s put these two tendencies together. What we have now before us is our own personality type. Under the DISC model… we can plot our personality type and get a better look at who we are! Google Pic - DISC Model http://www.internalchange.com/disc_profile_store/mall/disc-model.jpg What I would like for you to do right now is take a moment to chart your own personality type. Follow the link to this google picture of the DISC model. You will take your highest scores from the two tests and plot them in a quadrant of the model. Think that the center is 0, and 6 is somewhere in the middle, and 12 the far ends of the spectrum. You have just plotted your personality type! Now this is just a snapshot. If you can take a personality profile assessment I believe you will gain even more insight. It is a more in-depth approach. Personality Insights, Inc is a resource to use. STEP 2: DISC Model Now that we have an understanding of the basic model, and where we could plot ourselves, let’s talk a little about each of the different personality types. We will begin with the D style also known as the Choleric style or a Lion style. D: Directive Parents, Determined Children Tendencies: Fast Pace – Task Oriented P-Word: Powerful Motto: Let’s get moving! Communication style: One-way, Direct, Bottom Line 7 prominent characteristics: High self-confidence, Courageous, Results-oriented, Commanding, Competitive, Change-agent, Direct, straightforward Strengths: Decisive Action, Takes Charge, Gets Results, Self-Confident, Independent, Risk-taker, born leaders, thrive in change, excel in emergencies Weaknesses: Impatient, Stubborn, Harsh or Blunt, Compulsive worker, Domineering, relate to people as projects, always right, always win, bossy, sarcastic Fears: Being taken advantage of Recharge: Physical Activity Specifics with Children: Self-motivated (think about homework) Don’t like groups where they can’t lead Want immediate results Vacations with Lions are full of activities Power struggles – need to remain in control Emotional need – loyalty, sense of control, credit for good work and achievement Biblical Example: Paul I: Interactive Parents, Influencing Children; Sanguine; Otter Tendencies: Fast-Paced, People Oriented P-Word: Popular Motto: Let’s have Fun! Communication style: Positive, Inspiring, and Persuasive 7 Prominent Characteristics: People-Oriented, Emotional, Talkative, Optimistic, Spontaneous, Seek social acceptance and applause, Fun loving Strengths: Fun-loving, involved with others, enthusiastic, emotional, optimistic, good communicator, network at a party, great story tellers Weaknesses: Disorganized, not Detail-oriented, unrealistic, talk too much, interrupts self-centered, ficle in friendships, unorganized/undisciplined Fears: Loss of social approval Recharge: Social Time Specifics with Children: fun to be around, contagious enthusiasm, sign up for everything, not bothered by details, homework is a struggle, happiest of kids, avoid confrontation at all costs, doesn’t want anyone to think badly about them, they don’t manage friends well, good networkers, susceptible to peer pressure Emotional Need – attention, approval, affection, acceptance Biblical Example: Peter S: Supportive Parents, Soft-hearted Children; Phlegmatic; Golden Retriever Tendencies: Slower Paced, People Oriented P-Word: Peaceful Motto: Let’s Relax Communication style: Two-way, best listener, empathetic feedback 7 Prominent Characteristics: Steadfast, Team Player, Prefer familiarity, Render service, humble, committed to people, pragmatic Strengths: Patient, Easygoing, Team-player, calming influence, steady, stable, good follow-through, learned leader, good mediator, loyal friend Weaknesses: indecisive, over accommodating, too passive, sensitive, quietly stubborn, resist change, seen as lazy Fears: loss of stability Recharge: Nothing Time Specifics with Children: prepare them for change – its hard for them, hold stubbornly to what is right, get overwhelmed, hard to motivate, no confrontation, can’t make decisions Emotional Need – lack of stress, peace and quiet, respect, feelings of self-worth Biblical Example: Abraham C: Corrective Parents, Conscientious Children; Melancholy; Beaver Tendencies: task oriented, slow paced P-Word: Perfect Motto: Lets do it right Communication Style: Diplomatic, keen observer, provides detail 7 Prominent Characteristics: Maintains high standards, attentive to key details, self-disciplined, cautious, analytical, highly intuitive, does things the “right way” Strengths: Accurate, analytical, attentive to key details, high standards, intuitive, controlled, purposeful, deep and thoughtful, Weaknesses: too critical, perfectionist, overly sarcastic, emotional high and low, procrastinate, dwell in the past Fears: irrational acts, criticism of their workRecharge: private timeSpecifics with Children: they keep a close watch on their emotions, make careful decisions, like using skills to solve problems, have high standards for themselves, turn anger inward – prone to depression, slow down under pressure, focus on the past, stuck on what happened/mistakes made, nonverbal Emotional Need – sensitivity, support, space and silence Biblical Example: Moses What about your children. Were you able to identify any of these personality types with yourself? Your child? Maybe your husband? What will it will take is more study… as I have already mentioned before. Here are a few tips for how to study further: Observe your child in many different situations Solicit the opinions of other people who see your child in different situations Take your best guess Watch for secondary patterns Be open to modifying your perceptions of your child Listen to your spouse Use an inventory or profile to give you additional insight into your child’s personality Resources to use that will further your study:Different Children, Different Needs by Charles Boyd The Treasure Tree by John Trent and Gary Smalley http://www.perosnalitiy-insights.com/

Pace/Priority Survey

Pace Survey

1. I usually make up my mind quickly.
or
2. I like to take my time in decision-making

3. I tend to speak quickly and with emphatic statements.
or
4. I tend to speak more slowly and with less-emphatic statements.

5. I find it hard to sit and do nothing.
or
6. I enjoy quiet, do-nothing times.

7. I consider myself to have an active lifestyle.
or
8. I consider myself to have a more low-key lifestyle.

9. I tend to be energized by juggling several balls at once.
or
10. I prefer to do one thing at a time.

11. I easily become impatient with slower people.
or
12. I do not like to be rushed.

13. I am quick to tell somewone what I think or feel.
or
14. I am more private about what I think and feel.

15. I like taking chances and trying new and different things.
or
16. I do not like to take chances. I like familiar ways of doing things.

17. I tend to introduce myself at social gatherings.
or
18. I am more liely to wait to be introcduced at social gatherings.

19. When others talk, I have difficutly listening.
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20. When others talk, I listen carefully.

21. I like to be in charge.
or
22. I prefer to follow directions and be supportive.

23. I tend to react more quickly and spontaneously.
or
24. I tend to react more slowly and deliberately.

____(#Odd/Fast-Paced)
____(#Even/Slower-Paced)


Priority Survey

1. I approach life in a serious manner.
or
2. I approach life in a playful manner.

3. I tend to keep my feelings to myself.
or
4. I tend to share my feelings with others.

5. I enjoy talking about and listening to facts and data.
or
6. I enjoy telling and listening to stories about people.

7. I tend to make decisions based on facts, objectives, or evidence.
or
8. I tend to make decisions based on fellings, experiences, or relationships.

9. I tend to be less interested in small talk.
or
10. I tend to be more interested in small talk.

11. I maintain control over who I get to know and who I am involved with.
or
12. I am more open to establishing new relationships and getting to know people better.

13. People may perceive me as being a little hard to get to know.
or
14. People tend to perceive me as easy to get to know.

15. I prefer to work independently and alone.
or
16. I prefer to work with and through others.

17. I discuss current issues and the tasks at hand.
or
18. I like to talk about people, stories, and anecdotes.

19. I think of myself as a more formal person.
or
20. I think of myself as a more casual person.

21. Other people view me as a thinker.
or
22. Other people view me as a feeler.

23. I feel best when I am accomplishing something.
or
24. I feel best when I am accepted by others.


____(#Odd/Task-Oriented)
____(#Even/People-Oriented)